Sep 28, 2011

If At First You Don't Succeed....

Try, try again. This is my mantra lately. (Along with "pass the wine!" and "say please and ask nicely when you want Mommy to help you!")

So round two of the Clomid on the infertility report card gets a big fat F for fail. There was a brief moment when we thought perhaps this was the month but hopes were dashed hours later by the untimely (and rather delayed) arrival of my crotchety Aunt Flo. Boo!

Off I dashed to the pharmacy to pick up round 3, so that we can keep on keepin' on. Perhaps the third time's the charm? Fingers crossed...

A few weeks ago Paul and I decided that after this third round we're going to take a little break from all this drug/doctor interference. We'd originally planned to move right onto whatever is next if the Clomid didn't work but with the holidays coming up we think we'll be better off waiting until the new year before we get into the next stage of treatments.

Anywho, that's the scoop on that. I continue to waffle between being depressed and sad about it and being fine with it. One minute I'm all "it will happen when it should, that's how life works, blah blah blah," the next minute I'm thinking "damn it! so unfair!" Every month I try to find the silver lining. This month? Well, my baby brother gets married next weekend and since I'm not preggo I'll be able to toast with champagne instead of sparkling water. Woo hoo!

Today one of the little girls who goes to daycare with LP is here at our house for the day. Daycare is closed today and her parents couldn't find anyone else to watch her so I agreed to. And having two kids in the house has been so nice. Although there are definitely way more toys strewn all over (and at one point every single toy and book and stuffed animal was IN LP's bed), and there's been quite a bit of tattling, for the most part the kids have played really nicely together, keeping each other busy. Hence, I'm actually blogging! And I edited photos. And I took some photos! Getting stuff done! Super mom! Ha.

It's giving me a little bit of a glimpse into what it would be like to have a second child, for LP to have someone to play with at home who isn't over the age of 30 or has 4 legs and fur (or both). And yes, I know that I'm idealizing it and that having a second child would be stressful and tiring and there'd be fights and squabbling, but I'm down with that. I'll take the sibling squabbles if it means LP gets to grow up with a brother or sister.

So even though this wasn't our month, and even though yesterday I was pretty down about it, today I'm feeling ok- LP is meant to be a big brother, and we're meant to have more kids. It will happen, I know it will, and we'll just keep on trying til it does!

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